I some times don’t recognize it for what it is. It kind of starts as an anonymous feeling which grabs my attention like a dog that heard a sound and trying to figure out what it is and where it came from. But then of course, I almost smile at the friendly familiarity.  That ache in my heart for the piece of me missing. 

I did it. They caved to my salary package requirements, and next week I start a new job (and perhaps a new chapter) as the Head of Physical Production for Bold Films.  They make good films, not just based on financial predictions, but of the creative content as well, the office is 10 minutes from my house, and everyone brings their dogs to work 🐕🐶. Looks like I won’t be traveling like I used to for a while, and maybe I can really start to make a home. I’m still not entirely keen on LA, but what the fuck, it’s better than most cities in this country, even with the extreme density of douche bags.  Any Modu workshops coming up 😈? 

https://youtu.be/IXdNnw99-Ic

I can vaguely remember a couple of moments when I thought for a brief moment, perhaps in the arms of someone else, that I had finally forgotten you, but as it turns out it was only temporary amnesia. 

I’m watching some tear-jerking movie about a boy who loses his mother, and my thoughts drifted to you. I just can’t imagine anyone else having my kids. Strange?  Insane?  

I’m so tired. I went to a screening last night for a new Jake Gyllenhaal film. There must have been 75 young models there. I have no idea why, other than to potentially meet Jake, but it seems like there might be a different reason. But I digress… got home by 1am and asleep by 2am, and Juma (my dog) woke me up at 6:30 for his morning wee. Damn you dog. Thankfully I’m just watching a movie tonight with my buddy Mark. He’s moving to Paris, so we’re hanging a bit. 

Anyway, I digress again…  I have been in talks to be the head of physical production for Bold Films, which is a company that finances and produces movies; one of which was the screening I went to last night  (“Stronger”).  I’ve had a couple meetings, a couple phone calls, a couple emails, and a couple screenings over the last four weeks, but no commitment, so I’m obviosly still looking for a new show. But at the screening last night I ran into the president of the company, and when he saw me he said “there he is, my new head of physical.”  Call me cynical (don’t really), but that seemed a bit too positive. Maybe he was being fake or too honest? You never can tell in this biz. I sent them my salary requirements, which were a tad on the high side, but if they want me to trade-off my lifestyle of multiple months off per year, then they have to pay.  I had this in the grand plan a few years from now, but not just yet. I wasn’t looking for this job. It just kinda fell in my lap. It would mean a full-time job here in LA. I can really start to build a life, a relationship, friendships, etc…   the reduced vacation time will be a drag, but maybe there’s a bigger opportunity here. Anyway, next week may be very telling. 

Have you fallen prey to the injections craze?  All the girls are doing it. A little shot here, a little shot there. Keeps the lines away. Your porcelain, freckly skin looks so so smoothe. 

Damn if there isn’t still a sting when I see your face. 

What a fucking show!  Beck opened and rocked, but sadly only played an hour.  U2 killed it though. They have so many great songs, that even with a two-hour show, they barely dented their catalogue.  You definitely would have had that happy little girl look on your face as you danced to their classics. I ende up taking Ricky, which wasn’t quite the same experience, but it was good to see him and we had a great time.  We got hammered both before, during, and after the show. That guy can out-party me any day.  I did a yoga class today to purge all the booze, etc. now hunkering down for a little nap. Dinner later with friends and then I suppose out for a spirit or two. When in Rome, dear. X

I’m assuming you aren’t in Nola. I ended up having an extra ticket, so sorry you’re not here.