Juma is such an unhappy camper. He’s in his crate, cone of shame on his head, stoned out of his little doggy mind on a concoction of sedatives and anti anxiety pills. He cried most of the night because of the pain and the fear of being in a cage. My heart hurts to see him like this. Only 40 more days of this.

So I’ve been seeing someone for a few months now. I like her. I actually asked her to go to NOLA with me. We dated a couple years ago, and ironically I stopped seeing her when I tried to woo you back in winter of 2015. Oh, she remembers that well. It’s getting to be about the time of the “what are we doing and where is this going” talk. We both fear it for different reasons, but it’s time. Saying yes to her, and meaning it, would mean saying goodbye to you. And even though there is no you, I know you’re out there and I know I still feel for you, but I have to make space in my heart for someone else. I wish it was as easy as going through your closet and getting rid of old clothes (and getting a tax deduction for it too 😁👍🏼). Letting her put her other foot in is moving one of yours out, and I’ve loved you for so long that not having you there is a scary concept. Not seeing you in NY or NOLA kinda sealed that deal. I know it was self preservation, so there’s no fault and I might have done the same, if I was as strong as you. A friend of hers saw my dating App profile and told her about it. I told her I’m not using the damn app, I just haven’t taken down the profile yet. If that got her upset, imagine what she’d do if she found out about this blog! So I may have to take a “hiatus” from writing to you, thinking of you, and even loving you.