I have never loved somebody as much as I love you, and I suspect I never could.  

I’m checking out and getting ready to ride back. It’s a long, meditative ride. I think of you much of the time and wonder what you think. I don’t hear much of what’s going on in your head. I want to know, baby. I know that we have some work to do on our verbal communication, but until that time how can you communicate your thoughts and feelings with me. This site allows me the forum to pour out my random thoughts, feelings and inspirations, and there needs to be a way for you to communicate those things with me.  If we’re really doing this, which I am betting the farm we are, then we’ll have to build up our talking and communicating. Though we know each other very well already, it might feel less than natural to go from a few texts and one brief verbal call per week to suddenly every day, all day. Can we somehow increase the frequency?   But I’ll take you any way you come (clean thoughts here). 

Where are you?  I can see an apparition in the distance, through the haze of time and distance. I can almost make you out. My reach almost touches. But I can’t quite grab you. Come closer. 

My love, I know you struggle. I sometimes feel that I now your thoughts like I know my own. I know you struggle with the questions, the decisions, the feelings that you have, the outcomes, the feelings of others… What to do?  What’s right?  What really is the best. I have asked myself the same of late and I found the answers that I needed… In a place I hadn’t thought to look… In my bones. I know in my bones that you are and always were the woman for for me. And though my bones may be biased, they also tell me that I’m the right man for you. And when we’re together, face to face, hand in hand, lips to lips, its such an obvious truth that neither of us could dare  deny.  Wouldn’t you agree?

It is here that I seduce you. It is here that I make love to you. In absence of your body I will make love to your mind. 

Though we may struggle to remember now and again, when our lips meet we undeniably know the truth. 

I’m in Vegas having a great time watching and listening to my brother do what he does best; rock out. Of course I think of you (appx every 3rd or 4th thought), and in my current state I strung two unrelated events together: a few days ago there was a car blocking the exit of the gym because a girl’s car died. She was blocking everyone from getting out. Everyone was getting impatient and getting on their horns. I of course wanted to know why she wasn’t moving, so I got out of my car to find out why the fuck she wasn’t moving.  She said her car had died. Shitty place for it to die, and she was probably mortified. Without a second’s though I told her to put her car in neuteral, turn the wheel to the left, and I dug in and began pushing. Her car was heavy , especially alone, and very especially because I had just finished a leg work out at the gym. I pushed and it budged, but my feet slipped. I dug in further and pushed harder. A tiny bit of momentum began to build, but so small that it could be lost in a moment of bad footing. I put it all into it. I thought to myself “This is good damn karma, so push!”  I got her to a place where she was out of the way enough that people could finally passed. I looked at her face, she appreciatively smiled at me, but I just got in my car and drive away wondering why everyone doesn’t do that. It amazes me that we’re all so thankful to revive good will and so infrequently randomly give it. Then just now I stopped to help an old Asian woman out of her wheel chair, again without a moment’s thought. The gentleman, I assume her aged husband, declined my help, I think unsure of my motive. But the events have a through line, a commonality… I do good when I can, randomly. I thank my time in the south. And no matter what other less attractive characteristics I may have, or things I may regretfully say or do, as long as doing things for others is reflexive rather than contrived or calculated, I will continue to know that I’m a good person inside with much to offer. 

Baby, if even the smallest part of you still feels like you could be making a mistake, I’m letting you know with certainty that you’re not. You are being generous and gracious enough to allow me to rectify my biggest one.