I should have left yesterday. My boys were in LA, I could have slept in my own bed, and now my flight is delayed, so I’m just sitting around the airport for hours. If it wasn’t for swimming laps and a schvitz (Yiddish for steam room) at the gym, I’d be a complete crank-pot, but mostly I just feel spent (and a little bloated). Being tired like this gives me a strange clarity.  I think that I might be scared. I’m scared that we won’t be together.  That something will happen today, tomorrow, next week, or anytime between now and whenever. There are so many variables.  Something could happen to you or to me with our bodies or our hearts. Every day is another day I could lose you and that scares me. 

P.S. Now that I’m not gainfully employed, I’m going to Jazzfest.