Baby, I’m waiting in purgatory for you, and it’s as painful and hollow as one could imagine. I have to remind myself however that I am here because I made this happen. I chased you, I found you, and I told you I would wait. I just couldn’t have anticipated how dreadful it would be to wait anxiously, not able to have any real female companionship to do anything with, other than physical, lest they think this is more than that, knowing that circumstances could change, such as him proposing or you getting pregnant, or even that you could change your mind at any moment. It’s a terribly anxious and lonely place to be.  But we are half way there, and I’m doing my best to keep the candle burning, but the pain is taking a toll.