What a terrible spot you’re in.  I’m sorry I won’t pretend to know what it’s like, and I will understand what you feel that you need to do.  Of course I will be horribly disappointed, and even a bit angered, but I will understand.  The one thing that I will ultimately not understand is why you would stay with a man when he’s nor really who you want.  I love you and I will continue to love you, from near or afar.