-January 15h is a fucking long way off, over a month, but I will do my best to be patient.  In the case of my heart, it’s really not my strong suit, and the ache is virtually intolerable.  If this was a physical ailment I would see a doctor immediately.  But unless there’s a surprise visit from you under my tree for Christmas, I’m going to have to self-medicate… a lot.   And I know that this tentative date is just that, tentative.  It could change or disappear all together.  Oh boy.  But at least thank you for pondering a date.  I still hope you change you mind and say ok to me flying out there for a day or two before the end of this month.  I really miss my arms around you.  But for now, a lot of Pranayama… in… out…. in…. out…

-For the last however long I have been wondering if you’re going to break it off with him, and then the thought resurged into my brain, which told me that it’s not an “if” but a “when”.  You see, because I self-proclaim to know who you are, my gut tells me that this relationship has a short shelf-life.  It may be ok for a while; it may even be good most of the time; but it won’t fulfill you, which I think you have a reasonable idea of that now.  But when that point comes you will be 40-something with kids and never having left K/W for the bigger world.  I believe that the “when” is what’s really important here.  Will the “when” be when we are both still crazy about each other, not married and without kids?  Or will it be five to ten years from now when I have a happy family with someone else and you look back and think “I wish I would have…”?  “When” is the really important question here because (I believe) that “if” may very well be a foregone conclusion.